Marraige - Thoughts for a bridal shower Part 1

Recently I was given the privilege and blessing of giving a devotional talk at the bridal shower of a dear young lady who use to babysit my 7 children before she went to college. I though I would share with you what God impressed upon my heart to share with her.


Revelation 4:11 says “You are worthy O Lord to receive glory and honor and power, for you created all things and by your will they exist and were created.

Thank you Lord for creating marriage . And making it a representation of the relationship of your people with you. It is through these pictures you give us in your word that we can “see” what you created marriage for and why it is a blessing to us.
Christie, as I prayed and asked God what He would have me talk about to you , He showed me this verse from Revelation 4:11. And first I was confused by the choice of the verse but as I prayed and continued to read that week it became clear to me why God had chosen this verse for me to share. I believe that God gave me this verse to share with you because as in all things and In marriage God must be the focus. One of the most important things to remember in marriage is that you are not living for each other but for God to serve him together. Love and serve him first and your love for each other will grow even more.
But how do you go about serving God and not living for each other? Thankfully we do not have to figure it all out ourselves. God tells us in Ephesians 22-33:
“Wives submit to your own husband as unto the Lord, for the Husband is the head of the wife as also Christ is the head of the church; and He is the savior of the body. Therefore just as the church is subject to Christ so let wives be subject to their own husbands in everything. Husbands Love your wives, Just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for her that he might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word that he might present her to himself a glorious church not having any spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and with out blemish. So husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh but nourishes and cherishes it. Just as the Lord does the church. For we are members of His body of His flesh and His bones. For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother an be joined to his wife and the two shall become one flesh. This is a great mystery but I speak concerning Christ and the church, Never the less let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
God also tells us in 1 Corinthians 11: 1,9,12 “I want you to know that the head of every mans is Christ and the head of woman is man....Nor was man created for woman but woman for man , for this reason a woman ought to have a symbol of authority on her head because of the angels, nevertheless neither is a man independent of woman nor woman independent of man in the Lord ;For as woman came from man even so man also comes through women but all things are form God.
We can see from these verses that as wives we are to love our husbands by submitting to them, honoring them and respect them. and husbands are to lead, love , nourish and cherish their wives as Christ loves the church As a married couple husbands and wives roles compliment one other . The husband is the leader protector provider, The wife is the helpmate, confidant counselor of her husband as he leads the family. The two are one flesh and a complete each other There is a perfect balance in the roles God has set before us . When we follow Gods ways difficulties are minimized.
So as a wife how do we practically carry out what God has set before us, to be a helpmate a completer. Again we can look to God’s word for help. Aren’t you thankful that God has given us His word so that we can begin to figure out how to serve him and please Him in the way he wants. I sure am. In Proverbs 31 God paints a picture for us as wives of how to serve Him In practical ways. In this picture the wife is diligent , faithful, resourceful, hardworking protecting and promoting both her husbands and her families welfare. She is confident and resourceful and many other things yet these characteristics do not come from herself but from her trust and dependence on the Lord. This is where her focus lies in honoring , trusting and serving the Lord.
I’d like to tell you a story now of how one Godly woman’s Life affected mine many years ago . At the time I was a young bride and not a Christian but I was searching . At the church I was attending there was a Godly woman named Eleanor who often sought out younger wives to encourage them. One day another young wife and I were talking with Eleanor and she said and did something that I have never forgotten. It was so simple. Eleanor was asking us about our lives and husbands . Both myself and this other young wife began to share What the “challenges” of our lives were. At some point in the conversation we started to complain about things we did not like about our husband ;at which time Eleanor gently but firmly stopped us and said “ Don’t ever say anything bad about your husband “ when we began to protest and try to explain ourselves she again gently but more firmly stopped us and said “don’t ever say anything bad about your husband” At the time I thought she just did not understand what we meant. I did not grasp the magnitude of what she was saying and why But ,I never forgot it and God impressed it on my mind. What she was getting at was that we were not honoring our husbands and respecting them. But more than that we were actually defaming their names in public. When two people are married the two are one flesh. We become one with our husbands , we as helpmates are to be wise and build our house up not tear it down and we need to start by giving our husbands the honor and respect that God tells us to. What a blessing it has been for me to try to do this over the years. Granted I have not been successful many times, but many blessings have come from trying to follow Gods ways in this.
As a wife we have many responsibilities in taking care of our husbands' and homes and families as we serve and glorify God ,But the one thing that has helped me over the years to keep in mind is this : when situations arise in the marriage relationship and difficulties set in we are to work together with our husbands and God to resolve the issue but it is not our responsibilities to change our husband. Let me say that again , It is not our responsibility/job to try to change our husband. Only God changes people. If things are resolved to a point and our husband has not “changed” to what we want ,most of the time we need to be quiet, trust God and pray for wisdom....and usually I have found out that it was ME God wanted to change. When you glorify God and honor God and serving him is the focus of your marriage It becomes easier to trust God in all circumstances He allows to happen in your marriage .
May God Bless you many times over as you begin this journey of serving Him with your lives.